I have this little boy. I call him mine. Although some days…. he’s totally my husband’s. I didn’t and couldn’t birth to a child like this. And on the days where he doesn’t want to claim him we give him back to God.
Well, let me start by saying he’s always been God’s from the moment he was conceived. God knew this little child and what personality he gave him. The tiny little dent on his ear lobe (which I happen to find so adorable). He knew how loud he would be. Maybe he’ll be the world’s first official yeller and win a trophy or something. Who knows. P.S. The neighbors definitely know who we are!
God knew how adventurous he would be. Why give him to a daring mother? Give him to a woman who’s heart drops to her knees several times a day.
God knew how strong willed he could be. So he gave him a mother who can hold her own ground.
God knew from the start whom to give this gift of life to. And that would be me and my husband. And regardless of it all, I consider myself blessed.
I do count my blessings back from the start.
Here’s the story.
From the moment he was conceived I knew I wanted to birth him at home like I had done for my other two babies. (I’ll save that story for another day.) But anyway, pregnancy went perfectly. I was carrying a healthy baby boy. I only choose to do one ultrasound around the 28 week mark just to make sure he was well and healthy.
I prayed throughout the entire pregnancy that despite being away from modern medicines and hospitals that God would faithfully grant me the desires of my heart to have another easy at home birth. I prayed fervently for another quick delivery and easy birth.
Labor went smoothly and out came a beautiful baby boy.
There was only one small problem. His cord was wrapped around his neck AND it was not in one but TWO knots. When my hubby told me I think I cried like a baby. Like my baby.
There was rejoicing in that moment. Even though the odds may have been against him God was on his side. We have no idea how tight the knots were in comparison to others but I know there have been deaths for this very same reason.
I do believe God spared us from what could have been a very tragic ending.
God saw my truest heart desire and he blessed me beyond belief.
So every moment that this boy tries my patience, exhausts my strength, pushes my limits I try to remember how close I came to losing my little boy.
Who would tell me their nightmares so I could hold him close?
Who would handpick me dandelions on the way to the bus stop?
Who would kiss me at random during the day while everyone is away?
Who would tell me about kindergarten love and how his (girl)friend’s hair smells so good?
Who would offer to help bake cookies and lick up all the extra crumbs for mom?
Who makes me cry more tears than I’ve ever smiled yet causes me the most random grins of anyone I know?
This boy of mine….
What a gift he is.
Don’t forget to treasure your child. They can be taken at any moment. No tomorrows are guaranteed.