I like to run. It gets me out of the house. It gets me moving. It gets me breathing fresh air. It allows me to enjoy nature and the beauty of creation.
Usually I plan in advance that I want to run. I check the weather. Make sure it fits the schedule and then I have it set it my mind. This planning ahead helps me immensely.
Recently on a run I was having a particularly hard time getting ‘into’ it. My body was struggling to keep a steady pace. The wind was working against me. My mind wanted to quit.
It would have been so easy to just turn around and go home. I was only a half mile in. But I gained control of my thoughts and pushed myself to continue. I pushed past the thoughts that it was easy to quit. It is much harder to press on.
I’ve kept this in the fore front of my mind lately as I’m having a really difficult time parenting one of my children. I’m growing weary of repeating myself. Weary of giving consequences. Weary of frustration.
I bawled my eyes out the other night. Yup. I’m a grown woman with three children and I still bawl my eyes out. I felt like I lost all control over my emotions. I was done. Done with the lying. Done with the yelling. It feels like the only way to get my point across at times. Of course all it really does is make me frustrated and at times hoarse.
I reminded myself of God’s love and how he NEVER gives up on me. Even when I’m difficult ‘to parent’. He pursues me. He loves me. He guides me back to where I should be in mind and heart.
How dare I even think the thoughts of wanting to give up on my child!?! My God would never do that to me.
At times each of us is a difficult learner. At times we all are misguided. At times we all make someone want to yell in our face.
But our heavenly father loves us as no one else does. He’s the skilled listener. The close companion. The strong tower when we are scared. The light when we are misguided. The patient daddy. And most importantly, our forgiving Savior. It doesn’t matter what we have done. He’s there with arms wide open ready to receive us.
So I won’t give up. I’m staying the course. It may be difficult at times but God’s got my back as I do this parenting thing. He’ll guide me through each step of the way.
Love and blessings,
Melanie
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