Best Mom. Worst Mom.

I won the award for both today. How ironic…

The Low

Today was pajama day at school. Mama didn’t know it was pajama day at school. My kindergartener was reminding me as we were walking out the door. I grabbed his binder and checked but it said ‘wear red’ day.

I told him quickly that there was no time. We have to go and I explained that he can’t wear pjs to school if it’s not pj day. But he insisted that his teacher said it was.

I ushered him out the door to the bus stop with tears flowing. He was not happy at all. But I didn’t have the time to get the pajamas or figure out if this was indeed true.

I put him on the bus teary eyed and my heart felt sad but I didn’t know what else to do.

I went inside then and sent a quick email to his teacher. She emailed me several minutes later. “Yes, it’s pajama day.”

I felt it inside… that regret. That guilt. That “I’m such a horrible mother” mantra.

I just felt it building and rising inside. What kind of mom am I? Why can’t the things that are important to him be important to me? What mom doesn’t remember these things? Why do I keep failing him?

I was full of guilt.

The High

I was talking to my oldest son recently about school. And I mentioned that I really don’t want him to be involved in the wrong crowds and hanging with the wrong friends. I said I don’t want you to be around bad influences.

He looked at me and said, “Well, Mom…they’re going to be around a good influence, me.”

It stopped me dead in my tracks. He was absolutely right. I could worry, worry, worry about how he’ll react around wrong influences and bad choices. Or I can look at this through his eyes, the brighter perspective. Look at all these kids who get to be around a good influence, my son.

I was so proud in that moment.Happy that he turned my thoughts completely around. So glad that choose the positive perspective.

Why can’t I think that way all the time? His perspective made me realize to takes these things seriously. But don’t let worry stand in the way of priorities.

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It’s so remarkable when we see glimpses of our hard work as parents paying off. I’m not going to sugarcoat this. Some days and weeks I feel like I’m getting no where. I speak. I discipline. I love unconditionally. I threaten. I yell. Repeat.

Sometimes it seems there is no progress.

But other days…WHAM! It hits me like a rock to the forehead. This parenting thing is working. Something is sinking in.

Utter amazement.

Lots of times that’s where I experience my parenting highs. It’s not when they win an award or get an A on every exam. It’s when they take what I’ve taught them and put the teaching into practice as they live out their faith and their life. Nothing is more important to me as a parent.

Every day can be full of highs and lows.

I have to remember to not allow the negativity determine who I am.

I am a child of God.

I have been redeemed.

I am a conqueror.

I can do all things through Christ Jesus.

I am God’s masterpiece.

I am an overcomer.

I have to remember to let the positive moments motivate me to be the best that I’m capable of.

We can let the lows propel us lower or we can use the mistakes to raise our awareness to the needs of those around us. To make us realize what is most important to us.

The highs are like God’s little pats on the back. You’re doing this right. You’re on the right track. You might have setbacks. There might be a speed bump. But you’re doing a great job.

You’re investing in the lives of your kids on a regular basis. Don’t let the lows take you down. Let them be the inspiration to get you back on the right path.

Let the highs propel you towards your goal: To raise your child to the best of your abilities. To encourage. To care for. To teach. To love.

What has been one of your recent highs or lows as parent? I’d love to hear!

Love and blessings,

Melanie