Do you have a love so strong that you can’t imagine life without love?
Does love symbolize a certain someone to you?
My love for my husband is strong. Stronger than I ever knew love could be. I loved my husband before I even truly loved God. Not a proud statement.
But I feel that’s the reason why marriage hasn’t come so easily for me. My priorities weren’t in place nor did I even know or care. Have you ever gotten ready to sit down to eat and realize that the table hasn’t been set?You decide what to eat. You make it. Food has been prepared but there’s no way to eat.
That’s what I think about with my marriage. I decided to get married to my lover. We were 19 years young when we got engaged but began talking about marriage at 17.
I had no clue what marriage meant besides choosing someone for a lifetime. I was not taught that marriage would be difficult. I wasn’t shown that marriage would be take me on the longest roller coaster ride I’ve ever been on. Talk about ups and downs. Wow. That is the understatement.
When I decided to marry my husband I thought of it more like:
‘I really, really like this guy and I really, really don’t ever want to be without him.‘
It was mostly still that infatuation kind of love. We were barely past the stage of butterflies and goosebumps when he proposed.
We were married on a brilliant summer day. The sun shone bright as I hoped it would. I walked off the farmhouse porch on my father’s arm. He led me to a man, my man that I believed I knew well. But here I barely knew him at all.
What I did Wrong in Marriage
I didn’t know that trusting him was his motivation enabling him to triumph, persevere, excel.
I didn’t know that respecting translates as love to him empowering him to give, serve and lead.
I didn’t know that serving him was a gift that I had forgotten to give.
I didn’t know that encouraging him left me motivated and inspired.
I didn’t know that helping him was my full purpose as a wife.
As we all know, marriage is a partnership. It is me, as an individual partnering with my spouse to live a life together.
I wish I had known it was so much more. It takes ALL of me on a daily basis.
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What marriage requires most? Humility
The ability to be humble is not a strong attribute for me. No wonder I’ve struggled.
Being humble means being able to forgive, to admit when I’m wrong and being selfless.
What marriage requires least? A fiery tongue.
The worst moments in our marriage where always because of that single body part. A tongue. It deceives. It condemns. It punishes. It humiliates. I have brought so much damage from my mouth.
James 3:6 And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire but hell itself.
What I am Doing Differently
My New Goals are Simple.
Support & Help – I want to support him. Little things. Big things. Support his goals, his dreams, his bitty plans around the house.
Does this mean I shouldn’t have a say in what goes on around here? No. But it does mean give and take. I need to give a little more and take a little less.
He tells me he wants get a mohawk. I say “Where’s the scissors, baby?”
He says “Lets dig up the entire back yard and start over!” I say, “When?”
Respect & Trust – I need to respect his authority in our home. God placed the man as head of the home for a reason. You can’t have two leaders. It fails every time. God designed the man to lead. The woman to help.
1 Corinthians 11:9 And man was not made for woman, but woman was made for man.
1 Peter 3 TLB Wives, fit in with your husbands’ plans; for then if they refuse to listen when you talk to them about the Lord, they will be won by your respectful, pure behavior. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words.
I just love that verse. “Fit in with your husbands’plans” and “they will be won by your respectful, pure behavior.”
It doesn’t get any clearer to me!
Tell me. What has been your biggest obstacle in marriage?
Or tell me. If you’re not yet married what’s your greatest fear in being married?
I’d love to hear from you!
Til we meet again,
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