I just started a study called Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst. Where has this study been my whole life? I’m not even through chapter one and these words and thoughts are spilling out of me. So I thought I’d share.
What is up with our emotions?
In one hour I can have the following emotions:
Joy/Sadness (Yes, in one.) Over a song like ‘Carry your Candle’. Have you ever cried over that song? I mean seriously. It just does something wacky with my emotions.
Anger I just repeated my myself to my child for the 5th time and he is NOT listening! Seriously, 5 times. There is something wrong with this picture.
Resentment My husband just disappointed me. I really was hoping he would do blah,blah,blah. And he didn’t. And you know what? He forgot to take the trash out yesterday when I asked. And what is up with that? He didn’t even call me yesterday. And you know what else? I didn’t get a card for my birthday last year. Why did I even want to get married. I feel so alone. I have to do everything myself. This is getting so old. When will things ever change? All I do is give and get nothing in return?
OH MYGOODNESS! Do you see anything wrong with that last conversation I just had in my head? Do you relate in any way?
Please….please….tell me I’m not the only one who goes from 0 to 60 in no time flat. I just allowed a small disappointment to turn into a huge pity party. And all within a minute’s time.
Do you see how fickle our emotions can be?
In the study Lysa says “Feelings should be indicators not dictators.” Yowza!
Do you hear that? Our feelings should be indicators of what’s going on inside of us, in our hearts. They should not dictate the way we react to situations.
I’m going to get real with you and tell you this. I am a ‘control freak.’ I was even labelled that in high school by some classmates of mine.
Things in the past that I may or may not have tried to control:
– Every aspect of home improvement.
– How much time we spend with certain people, i.e. his family.
– What color Christmas lights are hung.
– How to parent our children.
Am I proud when I look at my past? No.
But it it also an indicator of who I am. I’m learning that my controlling nature is a direct reflection of relying on my feelings. They go hand in hand. Ugh! Who likes emotions and feelings anyway? I still do. Regardless of how desperate I can feel at times. But I have to keep myself in line.
I can do that by asking myself these questions.
1. Am I overreacting? Did I just take something small and make it seem much bigger?
2. Will this even matter 3 hours or 1 week from now? If not, let it go….
3. Is my perfection/controlling nature bulging out of me? Example: How the dishwasher gets loaded. Or how the wash clothes are folded. Can I pass on the control to my child, husband etc.? In most cases, the answer is yes.
4. Does this perfection that I’m seeking in someone else bring out the best in them? Or am I seeking it for my own satisfaction and reputation?
As I desperately seek to gain control of the situations and people around me, my emotions control me. But if I yield my emotions to God he gives me the strength to control my reactions.
When I pray you answer me. You encourage me by giving me the strength I need. Psalm 138:3
What are some ways that have helped you to keep your emotions in check????
I’d love to hear because this is truly a really hard one for me. I need your encouragement!
Love and blessings as always,
Shashi @ http://runninsrilankan.com says
Melanie, I used to have these conversations in my head too ALL THE TIME, and in time I have come to realize that though “emotions are fickle”, they are indeed an indicator of something else, it always helps me to sit down and write things out – make a list of pros and cons of why I am feeling what I am feeling.
Aww. Thanks Sashi! Emotions are indeed fickle. Pros and cons is a great idea. I’ll have to remember that one! Thanks for being a faithful reader! xoxo
The Lord used you/your post to remind me AGAIN not to focus on emotions. I’ve been awake since 3:30 stressing over what I can in no way control! I know the Lord is in control of it all. Thanks for the “nudge” and the verse from Psalms.
Thanks JB! So glad I can be used to be an encouragement to you. It’s so comforting to know that we turn it all over to Him. I hope to see you back here soon! 🙂
Chris @ Shared Appetite says
I am super “Type A”… I always try to control every aspect of my life and plan out every detail. You miss a lot of spontaneous awesomeness that way. It’s tough letting go, When things don’t go exactly as I planned in my head, I sometimes get all worried and nervous. Definitely a great reminder in this post to slow down and evaluate 🙂 Thanks for posting Melanie!
Thanks for sharing Chris! You sound just like me. And I totally agree. Sometimes I miss out on the fun because I’m so worried about the mess or the ‘what ifs’.
Mel, Thanks so much for posting this one. I too struggle with my emotions. I was laughing reading your posts and esp. the one about telling your child 5 times and then the one about the hubby. I get such highs and lows and sometimes feel like my family must think I am nuts. I really struggle with this and really do not have any great suggestions on how I get through it other than to vent and then just let it go.
Aww. It’s so comforting to here from. So glad you came by and were honest. I really appreciate it! I know you get me and I get you! Miss you! xoxo