What I have learning about screwing up and God’s forgiveness.
Do you ever blow it? Like completely blow it? I just had an episode of losing all control recently.
I instructed my child to do something. He didn’t obey and then when I questioned him about it he lied. He lied to my face. Me, his mother. I then heard him telling his older brother exactly what he had done.
Not sure if I should share all the details. Kids are kids. They do strange things. They do gross things.
Well, this falls in the category of both. Strange and gross. It also involved my living room. To be particular, a potted plant, my banister, a bookshelf and the carpet.
You’ll have to fill in the details in our mind. You may get it right. Possibly not. Sorry. I just can’t even type it.
This is the part where I lose control of my emotions and my words. I was angry. He knew I was angry.
He looked like a scared puppy. But I couldn’t stop those words. Wait. I could. I just chose not to.
I even looked at the other kids and yelled, “How could he do that to me? Lie straight to my face! I don’t get it!”
I knew my anger was wrong. But at that moment I felt totally justified by what he had done.
I walked away. I bawled a bucket of tears. I was totally wrong. I knew immediately. That’s were the tears came from. Remorse.
Not only did I feel it for my child. I felt it as a child. A child who hurt the Father.
How can I claim to be who I am and still react in that way? I asked forgiveness. I prayed. I thanked God.
Thank goodness he forgives.
I screwed up God. ‘I know’ He says, ‘but I forgive.’ Psalm 103:12 “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”
I screwed up….
but I’m not a screw up.
I am Loved.
So are You.
If you’re new to my blog head over here to read about my struggle with selfishness. https://gatherforbread.com/?s=selfishness
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