The Best Thing I Never Planned

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Last Updated on September 16, 2024 by Melanie

Part 1

Life is weird, wild, wonderful.

As many of you know in my latest updates from six years ago. I was happily married and raising my family when tragedy struck. My husband was killed in an accident and taken away in the blink of an eye. I was a suddenly a widow at 37. You can read about it here. It was so horrible and sorrowful but I didn’t know that the best thing I never planned was still ahead for me.

So here I am with great new life updates to share. The best thing I never planned has come to pass! I’m finally ready to share the details here.

Friends, family, fellow food lovers, and all who frequent my blog. I have missed you and this blog space. I miss food blogging, well at least the fun parts. But with the life events that took place, I didn’t have a passion for food, for blogging, or for a lot of things that used to bring me joy. So that’s why it’s good to have taken a long time off. Am I coming back for good? I don’t know. But, I do know this. I still love food. I still adore taking food photos. Multiple people in my life have been patiently encouraging me to get back to this space. So before I ever would come back with food, I would love to share an important life update and what has transpired in my life.

I could never have predicted my life would go the way it would. If you pulled me aside as a teenager and asked me to guess how my life would look twenty-five years into the future I would NOT have predicted being a widow in my thirties with three children to parent alone. The wife of a husband who dies at the young age of thirty-seven. That’s way too young. But here I am. Life gave me more than I imagined. I’m not ungrateful. I’m so utterly happy and grateful now. I have learned so much through this hard, bitter trial of grief and sorrow in the last six years.

A necessary life update to share

So here we are with a much-needed life update for anyone curious about how I’m doing, what I’m been up to, etc. This will need to probably come in several posts. And I so wish I could have updated over a year ago. But life has been overwhelmingly good these past two years. There were some significant trials along the way too. This has made for much delight and some more sorrow. But here, today I’m focusing on the joy, the restoration, the love and the goodness my great God has decided to bless me with. Truly, the best thing I never planned has come to pass.

Two years ago this month this sweet, handsome, amazing man was introduced to me by one of my best friends. She had known him since she was a teenager. He was a big part of the reason she got saved and came to know Christ.

Years passed and my friend moved to the suburbs and countryside of York County across the street from me. We quickly became friends. She only resided there for about eight months before my world came crashing down, Carl had died. She did her best to love me well in my dark days. And on many occasions would mention “this guy” to me and how she thinks we should talk, that we have much in common.

However, I had clearly stated to every individual that I spoke with that I would not love another. There would be no remarriage. I would NOT love another man, be intimate with, or desire to be close to any man besides my late husband.

God’s design of the story

Well… let’s insert God’s design of the story. I didn’t want my husband to die at 37. That wasn’t part of my plan. So I should have released this part of the story to God on day one of Carl’s death too. If I didn’t get to choose his death what made me think the rest of my life would go the way I wanted it to?

My kind friend waited patiently over several years and sporadically brought up “his” name. I always declined to want to know him or talk to him. As a matter of fact, I would get very indignant about “people” not letting me live the way I wanted to.

This part of my story just always makes me super thankful that God knew me better than I knew what was best for me. Because although I survived four and a half years without a husband, I was very lonely and bored. I had come to a place of some contentment and joy but still wasn’t fully healed. I desperately missed having a life partner in a husband. My days felt monotonous and seemed to lack vibrancy. Single motherhood was so challenging and left me in tears so many days. I would cry out to God for wisdom and patience.

Still, God loved me in my trials. He continued to refine me and mold me and even used me to help other widows and precious souls experiencing grief.

But all the while, I truly thought that my heart couldn’t love someone as a husband again, especially to be intimate with another man. That thought made my head spin. So I figured I was to remain unmarried for the rest of my days on earth.

The good part

Let’s get on with the good part…huh?

It’s late August 2022. The best thing I never planned is awaiting around the corner. My friend mentioned that a local Bible study is starting up again on the first day of September. She invited me to go. We chatted on our walk together, sat down at the curb at the end of our walk, and kept talking. We’re women and have so much to say! She tells me a little more about “this guy”, giving a few life details she hadn’t mentioned in the years past. One detail in particular perked my interest and I literally felt in my heart say “I want to talk to ‘this guy.’ “

I couldn’t change my mind even if I tried. His life sounded way too similar to mine. Having lost his wife of many years the same year as I had lost Carl. Having experienced some similar life trials and setbacks, I was just so eager to talk to someone who had walked a similar path. And his life was clearly mirroring mine by what she had told me. So I told her I would attend bible study. She looked at me with surprise. “Are you serious? You’ll go?”

You see she had invited me multiple times before to go to Bible study and had mentioned “this guy” enough times. Smiling at me, she couldn’t believe I was willing to go but I was more than willing. I was eager now. Sitting on the curb outside of my family’s home for 18 years my heart flipped inside my chest. In that moment right there I felt a shift in my heart. God changed my heart and my outlook about my future. It was a miracle but it wouldn’t be the last miracle. There was another ahead. Here I went from despising the idea of meeting someone to eagerly awaiting the moment I’d get to talk to him. I hadn’t even met him yet!

I showed up at Bible study with eager anticipation. And yes, I was going there to meet “that guy.” Yes, I loved Jesus and the Bible but I was definitely going to Bible study for this friendship. I was ready to talk to someone that could potentially be a good friend or “companion”. I was thinking I was ready for this companionship thing. You know, discussions on the phone when you needed to talk to someone, a meal out together. I thought I was ready for a companion.

Bible study went well and I got to observe “that guy” for over an hour. He seemed pleasant, distinguished, Godly, and mature. After Bible study that evening I found out that he didn’t know that “the girl” was coming to Bible study to meet him. So my friend rushed to his side to tell him while I had stepped out of the room.

She asks, “Do you want to talk to him? Do you want his number? Do you want me to give him your number?”

I surprisingly said to her that she could give him my phone number. And we chatted about how we’re “old school” and that’s the best way to do it. So we leave it at that. She’ll give him my phone number. The ball will be in his court.

She drops me off at home and texts him my number. Friday goes by. Nothing. My thoughts are killing me at this point! I just want to hear something from him. I’m in my forties at this point in my life but I feel like a high schooler back in the day just waiting for that call.

Saturday. Nothing. But wait….early Saturday evening I got a text.

He asked how I was doing and asked if we could get coffee or go out for dinner some time.

Katrina had told him that I was willing to talk and meet up for dinner but that I was still incredibly in love with my late husband.

His message was perfect as he explained that he’d love to take me but that he would understand my feelings about Carl. Of course I replied. “Yes, Brian. Absolutely ok! Yes, I’d like to go to dinner! I love dining out.” We texted back and forth and suddenly I stopped responding because I was driving. He texted “Are you ok?”

I called him just to tell him I was good but at that time I was driving. It was then 7:11 on Saturday evening. Our phone conversation lasted for 5 more hours. We both couldn’t believe that 2 days ago we were strangers and now we had more than enough to talk about for hours. We were excited to get together and keep this conversation going!

And this is where I will abruptly stop! Please stop back for the continued life update/s where I hope to share more details.

Much love to you all. I have missed this space more than I knew!

Til we meet and eat again,

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