To the Weary Moms

This letter goes out to all the weary moms. Young moms. Older moms. Moms of little ones. Moms of big ones. Moms of one. Moms of 12. Single mom. Military spouse moms.

Mothering is not for the weak or the faint of heart. It takes perseverance. Undying love. Faithfulness. Abundant grace. And an undeniable amount of patience.

I’ve been a mother for almost 12 years. Looking back I can remember those first days of motherhood. That feeling of incredible, heart exploding love. Fast forward 10 years and I can remember those feelings of incredible heart exploding anger and frustration.

How do things change so drastically?

One minute you’re debating over whether you should change the diaper now or if the baby might have some more toots to let out.

Next thing you know you’re debating over whether you should put them all in separate rooms or send them all outside to finish their squabbles.

Parenting has been challenging for me. There is no easy road. No direct path. No perfect answers.

But my hardest challenge of all has been doing so much of it alone. Disclaimer: My husband is a great father. He provides well for our family working VERY long days so I can be home. He’s typically gone 11-13 hours a day.

In our family we’ve had to make sacrifices. I sacrifice him being here during the week so I can be a stay at home mother. I recognize that is a choice. I could work and he could work less. But we’ve never felt that was best for our family.

So here we are 12 years later and I’m still a single-during-the-week mother. He really has never been able to help with anything Monday through Friday. I’ve had to do all the appointments, the musicals, the school nights, church night, bath time, bed time, scolding,  reprimanding, chore directing, shopping, meal making, urgent care visits, nurturing, game playing, bike riding and on and on the list goes.

I write this not because I’m complaining but because I want to reach out to the other moms that find themselves in the exact same place as me. This is very difficult job. Most days I feel lacking in one area or another….wisdom, patience, joy, grace.

As I write this my son wants some of my daughter’s ‘birthday snack.’ She doesn’t want to share her ‘birthday snack.’ (She’s usually very giving.) So he takes the snack shoves it in the pantry and it spills all over the floor.

Options:

# 1 Reprimand son for being hasty and remind him of importance of treating people things with respect.

#2. Remind daughter about the importance of sharing.

#3. Reprimand both of them.

#4. Run to my bedroom. Shut the door. Turn the music up loud and forget that it happened.

I think I want to go with option #4!!! Can there please always be this option #4, God? I really like it!

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But do you know what? God says in his word that he won’t give us more than we can handle. And with that he’ll give us what we need to not just get by, but to do it with love.

Deuteronomy 2:7 The Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

 Romans 12:2 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer.

I can not say enough about the importance of prayer. Every moment that I question my ability to do this I just lift my thoughts up in prayer to God. Asking him for the wisdom to do this thing right.

I always joke about my youngest son. And I tell people all the time God must have thought I was good enough to parent this child or he wouldn’t have given him to me. And it’s true with all my children. God thought I was perfectly capable and he thinks you are too.

As challenging as it is, you’ve got this. Because God’s got you, in his hand and his heart.

The words of this song  by  Seventh Day Slumber (Everlasting God) encourage me immensely:

You’re the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles

Strength will rise as we wait
Upon the Lord we will wait
Upon the Lord we will wait
Upon the Lord

I’m saying a prayer for all you mothers today. Especially those of you who are single moms or moms with spouses deployed.

I’m praying that God would provide you with that supernatural wisdom, strength and joy to parent these children. I pray that you will be encouraged and blessed in this lifelong journey which truly is a gift. May God comfort you in those difficult moments. Strengthen you in the weak moments.

You ARE loved!

Blessings,

Melanie