As I sit here my three children, ages 11, 9 and 5 shooed me away from the kitchen after dinner. Leave the mess. They told me to go. Go to take a nap. Go read a book.
Not as easy as it sounds. I don’t quite trust their ‘cleaning up’ methods without any supervision. But how could I resist? They insisted. They wanted to do it on their own. I had to trust them.
Just moments before dinner fights were erupting like lava cascading over the top of the volcano. No one wanted to empty the dishwasher. There was shoving. There was moodiness.
Just hours before my son was in tears because his new ‘teacher’ (me) really is the meanest one on the planet. Apparently she must not actually know how to encourage her son in effective ways. Apparently she reprimanded him in a way that made him feel like a failure. That was not her intention at all.
He raced ahead in his assignments without doing all the legwork. He just wanted to be done. So he took the graded assignment and failed. He’s just learning this process. As I am.
It’s new for both of us. Learning as we go. Why did I have to be so hard on him. Couldn’t I just instruct him out of love?
I had to reign in my tongue. I had to apologize for my unkindness. Ask forgiveness.
I’ve always said I could never and would never be a teacher. It’s not my thing. But…
God took my could not, would not. And turned it into YES you can.
This mothering thing. It is my thing. I committed to love, teach and nourish my children til my dying day the moment I first laid eyes on them.
I screwed up. And I’ll screw up again. And again. And again.
Just typing that makes me want to beat down the door of failure.
Oh but for the grace of Jesus.
I am so thankful.
It covers IT all.
Times will be bad. Times will be good.
And the bad ones just makes me appreciate what God is teaching me. How far I’ve come.
And the bad ones makes me appreciate the good ones all the more.
Because it’s so easy to have bad days that don’t get us anywhere.
If I’m gonna have a bad day. Dear God, please let me learn something from it.
And today I learned something. I may have unworthy Motherly moments but my kids love me anyway. They love me because they know my heart. They love me because they know my intentions.
I love them back…
…to eternity and beyond.
Join the newsletter
Get your FREE copy of Irresistible Bread Recipes when you sign up to receive our emails.