Last Sunday at church we had an altar call. The pastor mentioned chains. Bondage. I prayed. “God, do I have any?” I whispered.
No, I don’t have any I thought to myself. When I think of chains. I think of things that you are enslaved to. Drugs. Alcohol. Pornography. Food. Sexual addictions.
I felt a tug at my heart. “What about that issue you’ve had for years that you want to be free from. Yeah, that. What about that Melanie?”
“That God? Really? That’s bondage? I’m living in bondage?” Oh. I am. I’m living in bondage. I’m chained down. I’m not free. I’m enslaved. I never really thought of it that way.
I am chained to my frustration. Yes, believe it or not. Frustration. Seems silly, right? We all get frustrated. Everything doesn’t always go our way. I know. I get that.
But God’s standing here. Asking me to deal with this. He wants to help me get over this once and for all. I want to deal with this. This plague that’s held on to me for far too long.
I shouldn’t get frustrated at their simple questions. I shouldn’t get frustrated that my little ones just came in dripping wet. I shouldn’t get frustrated that there’s clothes on the floor every night.
I can disciple. I can love. I can parent. And I can do it all without frustration.
God says He wants that for me. I want that for me.
“God, do a work in me today. Forgive me God for every time I’ve been frustrated and lost my cool. I believe you sent your son so I can be free. Free me from this.
Again the Spirit whispered to me. “This isn’t the miracle kind. The kind where you say a simple prayer and are delivered. No, this kind takes trust and hard work. Rely on me. Set your heart right each day to live through me. Not through your own strength. But through mine.”
So I asked. What will this look like? How do I even begin? I’ve wanted to change for so long yet nothing has. I’ve prayed. I’ve tried. I’ve cried. I’ve asked.
But this time a determination settled in my spirit. I need to change here and now. I’m passing something on to my children that I don’t want to leave as my legacy. As a mother I want to leave a legacy. Of faith. Of patience. Of love. Not frustration and impatience.
I will find scriptures. I will claim them. I will quote them. I will rise up in the morning with them. I fall back to sleep with them in my spirit. I will pray often. I will seek Him for the strength.
That was 8 days ago. I’ve been quoting my scriptures several times a day. I’ve been praying. I’ve been seeking. I’ve been relying.
Have I felt that feeling of frustration well up in me every day for the past 8 days? Yes. Undeniably, yes.
But do you know what’s been different about these past 8 days? He’s been faithful to remind me when I’m close to blowing it. He’s there cheering me on. His word reverberates through my spirit.
I’ve been claiming 3 scriptures daily. The word makes the difference in me and you. Get in the word. Claim it. Live it. Study it. It makes me who I want to be in Christ.
I choose a scripture on peace. To me it’s the ultimate opposite of frustration.
- Colossians 3:15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
I chose a scripture on God’s encouragement and strength for my recovery.
- Psalm 138:3 When I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me the strength I need.
And this one last sums up everything I want to possess.
- 2 Peter 1:5-8 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Have any challenging issues you can’t seem to get past? Or maybe I’m the only one. God can help you. He’s doing it for me.
Love you all!
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