What I Didn’t Get For Mother’s Day

So Sunday was the big day. Mothers all over are honored for their hard work, compassion and selflessness. What a terrific way to honor those people that brought us into the world and gave so much for us!

This Mother’s Day I wasn’t given chocolates or engraved jewelry or a fancy brunch at a restaurant. But I was given a lesson in love.

To be honest I don’t usually feel those motherly feelings. I’m not saying that I don’t sometimes portray those qualities. But overall, I don’t look at myself and see a person of selflessness.  I think about those moments when the kids are all being loud and obnoxious and I utter, “Can’t you just be quiet so I can finish typing up this post? I can’t concentrate.”

The compassion isn’t always there. I think about those moments when one child just tattled that someone else drew on their paper. And what I really want to shout from the rooftops is, “I don’t care! I don’t care. You deserve it for pushing your brother or sister earlier today.” Of course I don’t say that.

I just offer some lame sympathy like, “I’m sorry about that. Can you please go tell so and so that it hurt your feelings?” But inside I’m screaming, “If you tattle on someone one more time today I’m going to hit the roof!!!”

But you know what? I make mistakes. I own that. I’m not the perfect parent. I learn the same lessons over and over.

And one of the greatest things I’ve ever learned as a mother is that I do mess up. And you know what? My children forgive me and love me. The hardness of heart doesn’t last long.

Last week I confessed on Facebook that my darling 5 year was really upset at me. Like. Really. Truly. He brought home a tree on earth day. We were supposed to plant. Yada. Yada. Yada. Life happened. It never did.

He questioned me about it the one afternoon and instead of being subtle or lying I just told him the truth. I threw it in the trash. I had no idea it was that important. He said, “That meant so much to me.” Oh my goodness! I could hardly believe my ears. The child that rarely speaks how he feels but just melts down on the floor in a hyper active temper tantrum. We’re making progress here. yay!

Than here’s the kicker. He said. For real. “You’ve ruined my life.”

So there you have it. Mistake 929,458 added to the record of motherhood. We all make mistakes.

And there’s only one I know who has forgiven me time and time again for the same mistakes. He never judges. He never condemns. He never holds a grudge. He never retaliates. He never stuffs it for later.

He’s willing to forgive time and time again no matter how often I

screw up.

Now that’s love! Now that’s my Jesus.

So we just celebrated Mother’s Day. And I guess I went in with some expectations. I was really hoping for some sort of surprise, some home cooked breakfast, a mother’s necklace. You know something special and significant.

Well, the day rolled around and I realized nothing was planned. No special breakfast. No surprise presents. No planned lunch outing. I was slightly disappointed but I decided I wasn’t going to let it ruin my day.

As we’re leaving church my husband mentions that he’d love to take me out to eat if I want to choose a place. My stubbornness kicks in and I decide. Why should we go out for lunch? Everyone gets off the hook then. No one has to take the effort to make me anything or clean up the kitchen. So I decide we just go home and they can prepare my lunch. Grilling out. It shouldn’t be that hard.

I retreated to my room. Phoned my mother and caught up with her on this brilliant Mother’s Day. I wait for the invitation to the return to the kitchen. I arrive in the kitchen. No children to be found. The kids had all retreated to their separate spaces as well. I was so angry. How dare they just leave everything to Dad while they just go relax?!?

I mean it’s one day out of the year. I was really upset by their actions. And said a few harsh words.

But then as the day went on I was reminded of all the wonderful things they do for me throughout the year.

My almost 12 year old son will frequently make me coffee. And to be honest he’s the only one in the whole wide world who knows exactly how I like my coffee. He occasionally tells me to leave the kitchen and cleans up after dinner. He’s a keeper.

My 10 year old daughter will brush my hair (which I love) or offer to help with dinner. She’s such a willing good hearted soul. She truly is teaching me the meaning of sacrifice.

My almost 6 year old son quite often picks me flowers or colors me a beautiful picture. I’m the best woman in the world in his eyes.

So this year I choose thankfulness. Not because I was honored specifically on Mother’s Day but because my kids honor me every day in the way they live their lives. I’m so grateful!

Thanks for hearing my heart!

Love you all,

Melanie

xo

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